


now kiss me, you calf!

by kinks



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Farmer Harry, Harry loves cows, Other, cow louis, i love myself though, this is a joke fyi, this is so stupid, too many cow puns, unexpected cowmance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-24 22:46:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2599331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinks/pseuds/kinks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He lays the cow down, rubbing his head comfortingly after having to take it away from it's mother. The cow whined a soft moo which made Harry's heart soar. "Welcome to the world, beautiful." The calf smiled at the compliment. Harry gasped. Can cows smile? </p><p>or the fic where Harry is a farmer and Louis is newborn calf that somehow captures Harry's heart</p>
            </blockquote>





	now kiss me, you calf!

**Author's Note:**

> special thanks to lauren for helping me come up with some of the larry cow puns

Harry loves his farm. He inherited it from his grandfather 6 years ago when he died suddenly from a random heart attack that nobody in the family was expecting, especially not Harry. The Cheshire farm was a beautiful landscape, over 100 acres that Harry practically grew up on. When he first got the farm he spent the entire summer fixing it up, paying extra attention to the cow barn. He loved the cows, he wasn't exactly sure why but he always has. When he was a child he would follow his grandfather into the barn, watch him milk the cows and Harry would even help feed the small calves (they were definitely his favourite). So there's no wonder why Harry was so happy that his grandfather had left him with the family farm. 

Harry starts his day down in the cow barn, as usual. Glenda, one of his cows, is currently pregnant and is due any day now which is extremely exciting to him. As he makes his way down to the barn he picks an apple off one of his apple trees and takes a bite, savouring the fresh taste. He opens the gate to the barn and drops his snack in shock because Glenda is currently on the ground letting out worrisome moans. He hurries over to her unsure of what could be happening, until he recognizes her movements and realizes she is in labour. 

"Oh, Glenda! How are you girl?" Harry rubs her back and looks down to checks how dilated she is. He reckons about 10 centimeters, so he begins to push on her stomach, indicating to her that she should start pushing. Glenda is one of his older cows who has given birth to multiple beautiful babies, so she knows the drill. She begins to push, bellowing out loud, groaning moos. Harry feels around her vaginal opening and feels the calf’s head begin to surface. Excited, he reaches his large hand into Glenda to help her with her process. 

"Good girl," he coos to her. "Just a few more pushes and we'll have a new baby in the family." He smiles, thinking about how amazing and beautiful the new calves are. He looks down to see the head of the baby come out. He keeps rubbing Glenda's back, urging her to keep going. Harry pulls a bit and the baby's shoulders exit as well. 

 

"You're almost done, babe! You've done so good this far!" Harry watches the last few pushes release the baby calf completely. The early-morning sun is glistening off of the placenta sac surrounding the newborn and it is mesmerizing. Harry smiles down at the wriggling baby and begins ripping off the sac. He pulls it from the calf and watches it slowly climb to it's feet. The cow is beyond adorable; Harry is completely at awe. He reaches his hands out to caress the calf's head, slowly massaging the gooey skull and avoiding pressing the soft spots too hard. The small cow nuzzled back into the farmer's soft touch. Harry cooed, smiling fondly down at the baby. He reaches over to grab a towel and begins to wipe off all the extra substance that covered the calf. Once he was finished cleaning the animal off, he gently picks him up and carries him out of the birthing area and into a fresh bed of hay. 

He lays the cow down, rubbing his head comfortingly after having to take it away from it's mother. The cow whined a soft moo which made Harry's heart soar. "Welcome to the world, beautiful." The calf smiled at the compliment. Harry gasped. Can cows smile? 

"Moo," the calf whimpered, crawling into Harry's lap. "Moo." 

Harry hums in response, and looks down at the newborn. Blue met green for the first time and Harry realized he was gazing into the most magnificent blue eyes he has ever seen. If the farmer was a poet he would compare them to the ocean, or the sky on a cloudless day. He smiles at the cow, and whispers "What shall I call you, babe?"

The small animal looks up knowingly into his farmers eyes, really thinks about his answer and says "Moouis." 

Moouis smiles again. Harry seriously needs to google if it is possible for cows to smile because this one keeps doing it. Harry feels a strong connection with this calf. He doesn’t know why, but he does. There is something really special about him. Harry doesn’t want to leave him out here in the cold barn all day (or at all really). "I want you to stay in my house with me, Moouis. Would you like to ‘moo’ve in?" 

"Moo!" Moouis moos in response. Harry smiles bigger than he has in his entire life. 

"Great! Let’s go get you settled in." Harry picks Moouis up and carries him to his tractor. He places the cow in his lap and drives them both over to his farm house. Moouis perches himself on top of Harry's thighs and looks around, amazed by the new world he is seeing. 

"Everything is mootiful!" Moouis says quietly. Harry is impressed by the cow's speech ability. He is only 1 hour old after all. What a smart cow he has!

The drive to the large brick house ends shortly after, and Harry leads the cow into his home. "This is our home now, Moouis!" The cow trots into the home beside Harry and snuggles up to his long legs, hinting to be lifted. The farmer picks the cow up and takes him to the living room. Harry carries the cow around the room, showing Moouis a few pictures from his childhood, and of him and his grandfather, and then takes him towards the chair and couch. "Where do you want to sit, babe?"

Gazing up at Harry with his big, blue eyes, Mooie whispers "Next to moo." 

Farmer Harry smiles and settles them both into the warm couch, throwing a cozy blanket over top of them. He turns the old television set on and they being to watch the morning news. There is a comforting silence between them for a while. Harry has been unconsciously running his hands down Moouis’ back causing the small calf to shiver. Moouis reaches over to the remote control and turns the TV off, getting Harry’s full attention. The farmer is about to say something but Moouis puts his hoof up to his lips to silence him. "I moo you." The cow moos suddenly, slight blushing. Harry gasps and clutches at his heart. 

"Even as young as moo are?" His eyes are starting to water, he has never felt so close to a cow before in his life and he thinks he may be falling in love. The cow nods, and moos as if to say yes. Harry is definitely crying now.

"I love you too, Moouis. You're such a mootiful cow." Moouis begins to lick the salty tears off of Harry's face and moos quietly. Harry giggles at the soft licks, and reaches up to caress the cows soft cheeks. “Now kiss me, you calf!” Moouis closes the distance between them and licks a fat stripe over Harry’s lips. 

They both pull away laughing (honestly, Moouis is more human than cow, and Harry is kind of confused, but anyway) and falling back into their comfortable positions. Harry returns to rubbing the cow, and turns the television back on. After a few minutes Harry hears soft noises falling from Moouis' mouth and realizes that he has fallen asleep. It is probably one of the most endearing sights Harry has ever seen. The view brings tears to his eyes yet again and he softly pets the cows black and white head. Harry takes Moouis’ lead and figures he could use a nap as well. Before completely drifting off to sleep, Harry silently thanks his grandfather for his inheritance. “Without you, Gramps, I would never have gotten to help birth Moouis and meet him. I am forever grateful to you. RIP in peace.” Harry kisses his cross necklace and quickly falls asleep with Moouis’ head resting on his lap and his hand tangled in the calf’s soft hair. He dreams of fondly milking Moouis, and getting matching couple tattoos with him. Maybe even getting two bird tattoos on his chest, one normal bird to be Harry and one with udders to be Moouis. It’ll be udderly divine. No wait! It’ll be _legen-dairy_.

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed this and feel spiritually lifted 
> 
> twitter: @kinkharry


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